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Dummies dash downhill

Girl-bots, corpses spewing red juice, a big fat turd in a toilet bowl, and many more dummies plummeted downhill and launched off a jump in front of hundreds of adoring (and snowball throwing) fans to celebrate the end of the ski season in Red Mountain style Sunday afternoon.
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Girl-bots

Girl-bots, corpses spewing red juice, a big fat turd in a toilet bowl, and many more dummies plummeted downhill and launched off a jump in front of hundreds of adoring (and snowball throwing) fans to celebrate the end of the ski season in Red Mountain style  Sunday afternoon.

The Dummy Downhill goes far back in the ancient annals of Red lore. It was started by the Castlegar Kiwanis Club and five years ago was passed on to the Rossland Rotary.

“Red does all of the physical work for the course and safety, we just do the registration and help out on the course,” said Rotary president Fiona Martin. “Red generously allows us to put our name on it, and without their support this wouldn’t be possible.” Red also donated all the prizes.

Martin noted the track this year was “steeper with a better jump,” and she was really pleased with the huge variety in the 13 dummies entered. The quality of dummies was also good, with fewer “break-ups.”

Perhaps the most ingenious and spectacular was Rory Belter’s Colander Express, spaghetti for four on skis with wine, flowers, and a table cloth that won the People’s Choice award.

“It’s fast food, greasy. It’s gonna go down real fast, and come out real fast too, cause it’s greasy,” Belter said while on-deck. “Carbohydrates, lots of energy, makes you go. It’s all nutritious and delicious.”

Apparently the dogs — on hill for the last day, released from the season’s prohibition — agreed after the table flew skyward, stomped the landing, and then slid and sprayed noodles for 20 feet when the legs collapsed on landing.

Not all met such glory. Chantal Lejoie’s Girl-bot, far from “high-fiving the crowd on the way down” as Lejoie predicted, crumpled into a snow wall well before the jump and was pounded mercilessly with snowballs and general derision.

King Turd, a massive dump in a toilet filled with potatoes, had actually exploded last year. “The biggest piece left was the duke,” team leader Jesse recalled. This year, however, the king met the same ignominious conclusion as Girl Bot.

At the other end of the scale, Best Crash was awarded to Dead on Arrival, a body spewing blood and exploding gore designed by Christy from Northport’s Mustang Grill.

Winning points for speed was a panda careening downhill in a 4x4 by Will and Bode Ellis-Kuzy, but the show stopper was certainly the Best Air, won by Phil Patterson’s son and his friend for the Team Canada bobsled.

Rotary member Dave Snider was happy to see his personal favourite back for a fourth year running — or pedalling — Tyler Merringer’s brilliant and now well-recycled cyclist.

The Rotary is presently using its funds to aid the Rossland Skatepark Association, but their members meet weekly to discuss topics from the environment to local business, and plan fundraisers.

“We are a small, but very active and vibrant club with over 60 years of service in the community and are proud of all of our contributions,” Martin said. “Anyone who wishes to share in that is welcome!”